the letter goes like this....

"Dear Intergalactical Princess (well kind of)

We refer to the above Premesis (and no I'm not going to give you the address lol)

We advise that since the commencement of your lease rental prices increased considerably Consequently in order to keep up with current market conditions the rent shall be increased by $60 per week

Yours faithfully

Shitheads Incorporated"

No punctuation, shitty grammar and crappy spelling... you'd think if someone was going to screw you harder, they'd at least do it with all the frills like correct spelling and punctuation. I am left feeling completely rorted, like I should write a review telling everyone they are NOT gems, so they should NOT be treated with respect and they should certainly be scrubbed off people's lists!

So I think I am going to decide to move back into my space ship and fly away! I'm soooooooo sick of moving every 6 - 12 months. I have been Earthed now for the last 5 years (hmm is it 5 or 6?) in the CBD and every 6 months for those years, my rent has been put up more than the maximum 10% increase allowed by law.

I might move to Pluto and become a PlutoPuff... wasn't that a yummy deep fried food people use to eat from the greasy chicken shop after school? Hmmm maybe they were called corn dogs? Oh I don't know!

Job interview tomorrow to become something completely insane but completely me hahaaa. Spent all night tonight writing a friends report for his straight job. Ho Hum life on Earth is strange.

Yours faithfully (I cant belive they wrote "Yours faithfully" to me! As in I will faithfully dedicate myself to screwing you harder than you ever have been before and that is sure as shit saying something hahahaa)

Lucy the Intergalactical Princess going home

xo

Ok so today I decided to keep a record of all the things that made me go "OOOOOOW FANCY THAT.... YUP!" Here is my list...

1. One of the UK Olympic divers on the 3 metre bouncy board. Now I have never had a thing for men and their hot bodies, but I'm sorry... this boy is HOT! Hmmm and English. I have sworn off English men but, so it must be because he is HOT HOT HOT! Strange though because besides him and Neil from that American dancing show, I've never been attracted to a man based on looks. Anyway he is HOT and I went "OOOOOOW FANCY THAT... YUP!"

2. The Chinese divers and gymnasts.... HOT HOT HOT! I am a little concerned with the outfits though which is why I liked the divers the bestest because there was less outfit and more skin fit :)

3. This cow.....

it's a good cow yes? I found her on my hunting for pictures of broken condoms to stick on the Wiki. I looked at her and thought "OOOOW FANCY THAT... YUP! That's a lovely cow, I'd have her".

4. This hooker qoute

"Had there been any chance of this fellow paying, I would have let him swipe his plastic down my butt crack"

I thought "OOOOW FANCY THAT.... YUP I relate" hahahahaaa

5. Someone sent me a really really LOVELY email who reads my blog. It made me think "OOOOW FANCY THAT.... YUP I really really appreciate the thoughts, the message and what it meant to send it".

6. I have so far eaten 4 Bananananaa Paddle Pops today and I am thinking "OOOOW FANCY THAT.... YUP I SURE DO!"

I think I have an issue.

7. I received emails from 4 different ladies today who made me smile LOADS! I thought "OOOOOW FANCY THAT..... YUP I am very lucky to know them". It's very strange how you don't know these ladies, but you know them more intimately than even their friends. It's kind of like you give each other respect, admiration and care to the point you do whatever you can for them, even though you may never have met. Hmmm very much like kindred... hang on... isn't that a word to describe VAMPIRES?!?! OOOW FANCY THAT YUP!

  (that's me)

8. Further affirmed the future direction I am planning on taking is the right one. Decided the straight world has rejected me, so I should just get on with rejecting it and focus on being strange for life. Decided to go ahead with training and then I saw this....

and thought "OOOOOOW FANCY THAT..... YUP I should learn how to do that as well!"

9. Decided I really don't like that female from the Olympics... I thought "OOOOW FANCY THAT.... YUP she bugs the shit out of me" "oh I really owe alot to my coach and my parents and the other girls did such a wonderful job blaaaah blaaaah". WHy don't they just say "yerr I kicked arse and I'm sooooo EXCITED!!! I win they lose I win the lose he he he heeeee heeeeeeeeeeee".

10. I was reading an overseas Blog site today where punters keeps blogs and these boys were saying "thanks for that, she was at the top of my list" AND "she's a real gem so treat her right" and I thought "OOOOW FANCY THAT.... YUP there really is an International punting language!" Boys in Australia say that as well! Well boys from a certain shitful forum that shall remain nameless do anyway. Hmmm wonder if one of them scampers over to the US forums and brings back their culture and language so you have cross fertilisation going on? I wonder if they know the saying "she was on my list" comes from the fact the US gents call themselves "hobbyists" rather than "punters" ie. hobbyists collect things and in this case they collect girls so they have a list of girls they wish to collect... "she was on my list". In Australia gents call it punting because they associate seeing ladies as taking a punt or a gamble. Hmm suppose it would sound funny and derrogatory if they were to say "I'm a punter and she has proven herself to be of good breeding with a nice shiny mane, can go the distance and has proven good form, so I had her on my form guide of things to do". Strange yes.

Gaawd I think about the ins and outs of bollocks way to much! I have to stop finding everything curious.

11. Did you know Giraffe's can lick their own eyeballs?!?! When I was told that today I thought.. "OOOOW FANCY THAT..... YUP would be a might handy skill to have!"

Anyhooo they were the "OOOOW FANCY THAT.... YUP" moments for today. Well I had a few more, but they are the one's I can remember right now.

Night night people's and remember...... the things that seem the silliest are often the most curious OOOOOW FANCY THAT... YUP!

Mmwaah!

Lucy

:)

Helloooo People’s!

I’ve been gone soooo long! Have you missed me?!? Aaaah ha just as I thought… NO! HA! Ok enough apostrophes for today we shall move on…

Hmmm so why has Lucy been missing in action? Life has been busy busy busy and I’ve been all meh who cares to an extent I suppose – a tad disillusioned shall we say.

I’ve been busy helping with the migration of SDU (http://www.sensualdownunder.com ) and hmmm, oooow I made my first ever website from scratch for a lady which was pretty uber cool to do. Ooow and I should give her a plug here www. Bugger I forget the address, one sec and I’ll go and find it…  www.georgiafrench-sydney-escort.com , hmmm ooow and I have been writing more for the wiki http://sensualdownunder.wik.is . That’s all the busy stuff I’ve been up to.

I’ve also been looking at straight work which has been AWFUL. I get interviews for all the jobs I go for and then a second round interview and then they call and say “we’d love to have you, but you don’t have any recent industry experience, so we need to go with this other person instead”. I always sit there thinking “geeee thanks for that!”

On the last interview I went for and they told me that, I asked them what the significance of recent industry experience meant. They said I needed to be able to pick up the phone to another organization and get what I wanted from them so I needed connections. They gave me an example of someone they employed recently getting money from an organization because they had nurtured a relationship with this organization over a 12 month period. I sat there dumbfounded thinking ‘well I may not have been able to get $5k from that person after 12 months of sucking up, but if you asked me to call them on my first day of work even after not having spoken to them for 5 years, I could have gotten you $50k. I busted this person 5 years ago at his organizations Christmas Party having sex with a client in the toilets… now that’s gotta be worth waaaay more than $5k after 5 years, especially considering he has had 4 promotions in that time and is now in control of all of Australasia!

So yeeeerrrs I’m a tad miffed with all of this recent industry experience garbage, especially considering all of the real valuable industry experience happened 5 years ago that I know about and all the current people have no idea about!

The other problem is I no longer give a shit! Yup I’m all out of “I care” which is kind of important if you’re in welfare. All of my friends are in welfare so I hear about all of the garbage going on. I’ll also often go and meet them at work or after work for dinner and meet all of these people I use to work with and they talk to me like I’m a client. They put these condescending voices on, stand there and try and counsel me, ask me how I am (in that welfare worker/counselor/tilt your head to the side/serious voice/hands clasped in front of your body/while blinking 3 times kind of way. Then they ask me if I’ve been keeping up with all of my STI checks, ask if I’m getting any work, ask for a ‘number of times I’ve been raped’ up date and I just stand there thinking ‘HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST THE PLOT YOU MORONS?!?!”

The last one who did it I had to remind him I picked him up and dragged him home when I saw him sitting in a gutter where he had wet his pants and shat himself he was so intoxicated. I then reminded him he had been sectioned in a psych unit in PAKISTAN (of all places!), he had to be rescued and anti brain washed because he had taken up with a cult of flesh eating Yogi’s in India, he was on death row in a mountain village in Thailand because his best friend died of an opium overdose so they locked him in a room and made him embalm his friend with a 5 ml barrel and 2 gauge tip, over a 3 week period while they tried him and decided if they were going to shoot him to death… I mean seriously… WHAT THE F***?!?!

These people seem to think that because you do something for a living, then you become a stereotype with stereotypical issues. To an extent I’m fine with that, but I’m not fine with them power playing with people and speaking down to people because they consider them “clients”. I would never condescend to a person when I was in welfare! The thought of working with them as colleagues makes it very difficult to do the whole “I care” thing, because really all I care about is that I DON’T have too.

So yup looking for a new industry. I have decided I left it a few years ago for a reason and have avoided going back to it all of this time for a reason. This of course brings up a whole new bunch of dramas because it means the Degree I’m doing at Uni is pretty useless because I need to be in the welfare sector to use it. I think I’ve decided to do a Diploma in Marketing (while I do my Degree) at this stage just because I believe all of the bollocks that comes out of my mouth and I love bonking marketing people nearly the bestest hahahaa.

For money work I have decided to do something a little bit different as well! I’m pretty over the sex industry as of today. The last few weeks have been particularly horrid. There has been a spate of no shows, time wasters, porn phone calls, porn emails (someone wants to fly me to their stables in the US to give his hose a handjob, just before I bonk his horse, all while I wear pretty white see thru knickers… yawn). I’ve never experienced this before. I’m getting loads of calls and MSN convo’s and emails from a lot of other ladies experiencing the same thing as well  So Lucy has decided to re-work what she is doing and bring it back to basics. What this means Lucy will not tell you YET, but let’s just say, she has got some changes and some interesting stuff about to happen!

I watched a porn doco last night which was pretty interesting. I hate porn as a general rule, but this was REALLY interesting. I speak to a fair few ladies who do porn in the US and they are all gorgeous amazing woman. I was sitting there watching this documentary, thinking about my life, my career, my options and it made me realize a few things….

But more about that on another day!

Anyhooo best I run away. I as you know can talk forever, so best I don’t or you’ll all die of old age and/or boredom!

Night night people’s!

Mmwaah!

Lucy

ps. sorry for the white writing, but George has had to swap the software on my blog so it doesn't destabilise the new software it's attached to on Sensualdownunder. Until he can work out a way to make them like each other, I cannot format/change colors or do anything beyond this formatting :(

Hellooo People’s

So I was just walking back from Kings Cross where I had been visiting a lady who is having a photo shoot tomorrow and we had to try on her tassels’, suspenders and g-strings to make sure she had everything she needed… THEN we had to practice sticking our butts out and wobbling them in the mirror to practice posing, then we had to discuss how sparkly diamantes appear in photo’s… then we had to steal all the soaps from all the bathrooms in her hotel (they use FANCY yummy smelling soaps)… THEN I had to be given the guided tour of the hotel which has pink flamingos on all of the wall paper and the silver tap heads are all made to look like swans heads!!  blaah blaaah.

THEN I decided to catch a train back but I couldn’t be bothered to wait 3 minutes for it to arrive, so I decided to walk. On my way down William Street I bumped into a lady I use to work with in my old straight job. She has stopped working there as well now and is now solely doing street based sex work for her income (she had the bestest patent leather red shoes I have EVER seen in my life on)!

I thought back on my day and realized how amazing sex workers actually are and realized that no-one has any idea how amazing they actually are. Even the ladies themselves have no idea and I find that disturbing. Today I hung out with a Doctor, a Registered Nurse, a Policy writer, someone who works in Health Promotion, a Social Worker, a forensic accountant (I’m still not convinced they aren’t accountants working for the Tax Man who specialize in taxing the dead – you NEVER escape taxes even in death!), a graphic artist, mothers, daughters and grand daughters (and one lady what she is qualified to do for a living I wont say because you all know her). Some were high priced ladies, one a street based sex worker and a few mid range ladies.

I walked away from my friend on the Street thinking what a god awful shame it is that no-one knows how amazing she is and what an incredible waste it is she is just there. None of the girls on the street would know she is an educator, a wise spansexual, a kick arse anarchist who was frequently driven insane and punished for advocating for their rights. No-one knows she would have to be one of the smartest, toughest, sweetest people I have EVER come across. No-one walking past her would even give a shit that she breathes. For all intents and purposes no-one knows, wants to know or cares except me. I think she has even forgotten herself. She is invisible.

To our families we are invisible as well. I spoke to my mother today because I had some more Lucy Luck and I’m in the pooh again and she told me not to worry and not to stress it was just one thing in life I had to deal with. How could I tell her “look here mother, I have that to worry about, I have a dipshit on the sex industry forum I work on who is being a disrespectful shite to deal with, I have apologies to send out to people he is abusing, I have a friend who is applying for the straight job I am going for which he will get over me (should never have told him about that job lol), I have to juggle being a hooker, one of my bestest friends and greatest supports is going overseas, I have to remember my lies to you etc blaaah etc. Friends and families of sex workers have no idea who you are either. We are invisible.

I went from Pink Flamingos and silver swans to the streets and the only people who see us are us, and we only see each other if we have the capacity to trust and let people in. Sex workers don’t specialize in those particular areas of course, but I wish we did. I wish clients and people walking by us on the streets that do have the ability and capacity to see would see. I wish we weren’t so nameless, faceless and invisible. I wish we were seen as people and recognized for our diversity and intelligence.

I wish a lot of things I suppose.

Norrie you’re not invisible to me. Ladies NONE of you are invisible to me.

With much respect, 

Lucy

J

Ok life is waaaaay to serious of late, so I have been on the mission to laugh at EVERYTHING.... so on my mission to have laughs, I share with you the two funniest things I was sent today.....

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html  - this is the ultimate guide to ... well boys issues. I sat and read it with my friend who only buys Spring Valley Juice like me, because he loves the Liddle Facts like I do (did you know mosquito's have 47 teeth and Giraffe's can lick their own eyeballs?!?!). We found it simply fascinating and spent a good hour rolling around the floor laughing that people can be so bizarre and yet fascinating! For example....

Did you know that there are fossil farts?! They were produced by termites, right before they were encased in amber, the gut continued to work and the gases seeped out of the gut of the termite and was fossilised in little blue bubbles in the amber! They are rare but they do exist!

ALSO if you were in space and farted, the force would propel you forward because there are no opposing forces HOWEVER if you were on Mars, "because the temperature is 900 degrees farenheit a human would not simply emit gas on Mars they would turn to gas and become a whole body fart"!!!

It goes thru an amazing bunch of facts!

THEN my friend went back to work and sent me this......

The life and times of a hooker....

HAHAHAHAhahahahahaaaaaaa

he heeee

HA!

Your job for today is to get invloved with being silly, having a laugh and learning some interesting Liddle Facts to make you a funnier, happier and more interesting person :)

Have a good one people's!

Weeee!

Lucy

:)

helloooo

Recently I was on one of my sleep every second or third day binges and I was REALLLLLY tired, but SDU crashed so I had to stay awake 'til George got to work to let him know it needed rebooting. I got to 5am and thought I was going to pass out or the butterflies were going to get me (no sleep for 3 days the hallucinations start including butterfly's with those nasty little legs and twitchy antennae). 6am and I was going slightly nuttier and I didn't think i was going to make it 'til 9am. 7am and Miss ********** appears on MSN WOOHOOOOO!

********** and I sat on MSN swapping YouTube funnies with both of us a tad delirious - well she was going on about leaf blowers and swimming pools, so I imagine she was on my wave length anyway hahahaa. Anyhoooo we went thru farting leggo, I am watching you peeeeee videos starring leggo, found theme songs for SDU, ourselves and people we know (we even danced to Fraggle Rock and sang I Wanna be a Caaaare Beeeear at the top of our lungs)... basically we did all the usual mental stuff. Then Miss ******* gave me her favourite most special song as a gift and called me to sing it to me while we listened to it on youTube.

  <p><a href="http://www.youtube.com:80/v/a2nE0kGfqI8&amp;feature=related">http://www.youtube.com:80/v/a2nE0kGfqI8&amp;feature=related</a></p>

Original URL: http://www.youtube.com:80/watch?v=a2nE0kGfqI8&feature=related

Thanks babe, I listen to it everyday or when I'm feeling down. You're a legend and a wonderful person.

Huge hugs for you always,

Lucy

:)

The boy brings us a gift to enjoy together, smiles at me lots, and listens to me dribble on about my latest ideas (which is hire a drunk skunk by the by) and then says the magic words… “just give me the Lucy Blake experience”.

Soooo 2 -3 hours later you’re released zapped, sucked, fucked, oily and completely quiet for the 3 minute "I've just been bonked well and nothing else matters" magic window.

Don’t you just love it when it all comes together?! A brilliant technically complicated texturally rich and beautiful affair. The worker - client relationship can truly be a magic dance.

I can tell when it happens because the room looks like a cyclone hit, I have oil in my hair and you hear two people exhale, like it's the first time they have had the chance to breathe in forever.

A beautiful affair.

Have a go.... how likely are you to go postal....

http://www.gotoquiz.com/how_likely_are_you_to_go_postal 

I'm on a cool 58% - they suggest I take up needlepoint!

Hello People’s!

I’m hoping you're all smiling and happy J

Hmm so how are things in Lucy Land? Well all over the place to say the least (I can just see the stunned looks on your faces from disbelief… Lucy’s life is all over the place! Nooo! lol)

Straight life isn’t working so well for me L soooo in the fine tradition that I appear to embrace life by, I have worked out other options! I sat here and thought and thought about what could be done, and along with a little help from a friend, I realized where I was going wrong was I was being to ‘normal’. I should know by now nothing short of living life by the Chaos Theory is going to work. So I have embraced chaos and strangeness once again and put it into motion.

So what does this mean?! Well I have semi decided to run far far away! I’m going to do it in a completely outrageous manner which the average Joe Blow would bop me on the head for and tell me to snap out of it. I actually have a partner in crime and she is a completely free spirit and is constantly saying “Lucy just relaaaaax and stop thinking soooo muuuuuch. You don’t live because you’re always busy thinkiiiiing. Just trust the Universe”. Yerrrr Right I scream… I’m the Universes dirty little joke! HA!

So in an effort to not think too much, I decided to do all my thinking at once and put it behind me. This lead me to the need to do a course (for reasons I wont explain because it’s to weird) which was rather expensive, so I called the Uni it is being offered at and asked them to give me a scholarship. The first person I asked for a scholarship laughed at me (and then we had an indepth discussion about strawberry pancakes and her very nasty boss), so I decided it was funny and since I like people to like me, I kept using the same line. I was transferred around to 5 different people and the last person asked me to fill in the general application form for the course and write an essay. So I did that and waited for the invoice.

That afternoon I get a phonecall from someone in ShangHai telling me I had been interviewed for a scholarship and he was asking me if I was interested in doing the course in China instead of at the Uni in Sydney. It appears they have an overseas study option and they’d give me a part scholarship, which would pay for my fees and accommodation. Hmmm well Hell yerrr! BUT… now more thinking was needed because I cant afford to pay for airfares, food blaaah blaaah and it would totally take away from the money I need to disappear overseas to work, which was the whole point of doing this course!

So I set to doing more thinking knowing full well my “get the thinking over and done with because I think too much” mission was getting away from me! So I sat and had a think as quickly as I could and came up with the solution.. I NEED MONEY!! Hahahaaa

Next not thinking to much thought was “how the hell am I going to make more money?!?!”. Trying not to think too much again, I decided on the Australian Escort Dolls idea myself and another lady came up with a year ago had to be used. We made a completely interactive website, where we made cartoons of ourselves and the boys would have to dress us up in what they wanted us to wear and then shoot us with a water pistol of where they’d want to … well…. cum and stuff. The problem with the site was it was written in Java or something or other so was impossible to use, so I’ve had a bodgy site just sitting there for a year.

When we made the site we thought we could put a whole bunch of ladies on it who wanted to advertise an adventure that may not be able to afford websites, may want to run specials without ruining their branding, or for ladies who may want to remain anonymous because of blackmail threats etc. This of course didn’t get that far because the site was broken, although we did have a Blow Up Doll, Bad Dolly (me), Nurse Plastic Fantastic, Mistress TitFuck and a few others (hahaa I may have to use them still). So anyway I have decided to run a get my buttocks to China Education Fund Special using some of the pics. Hmm I may transfer it to another website still and work on it for other girls but not sure yet.

So if you see Bad Dolly stuff everywhere and wonder “Lucy WTF are you doing?!?!”, that’s what that’s all about lol.

Hmmm what else is happening? Ummm oh yerrr someone is about to try and destroy me again. Someone has managed to find out some personal details on me and is in the process of testing the waters with spreading it and testing the legitimacy of the information. God help me when certain forums get a hold of it let alone my mother if they decide to be completely revolting hahahaa.  Aaaaargh let’s not talk about what else because it’s all to blaaaargh.

I figure success is the best revenge anyway, so I shall continue to put bottom up and head down and keep on keeping on.

Oooh one good thing is Miss Robyn Leslie www.doyourselfafavour.com.au  , has been doing some brilliant things with media re: sexual surrogacy. She did a brilliant video thing with the Sydney Morning Herald (maybe even appears in all FairFax Papers I think it is). It never ceases to amaze me how you can sit a million ‘expert’ psych’s and other assorted head f****ers in a room ,and the sex worker will be the only one making any sense! Soooo well done to Miss Robyn and Im VERY proud of her.

Hnmmm ok I’m talking to much so I’ll be back laterer. Oooow I have some other news and new things I’m doing too!! I forgot!! I’ll tell you later but J

Mmwaah and take care people’s!

Lucy your Intergalactical Bad Dolly Princess

J

Helloooo people's!

So I was reading the paper today, doing a BORING uni assessment thinking AAAARGH NOT HAPPY! I later had a chat to the whacky Miss Chantal who will soon be leaving Australia to go overseas to some luuurvely places. She is trying to convince me to go with her, but it seems awfully irresponsible to go and have a lovely life don't you think?

I mean seriously, can one afford to spend money on going overseas, when one has to keep saving money, so in ten years time, one may buy a shoe box to live in!! For some reason we or maybe I have been socialised to think that actually LIVING LIFE is the wrong thing to do.

Then I read all about the budget, petrol prices, the crash of a housing developer which will push rents up, read the employment section from Saturdays newspaper (which is now so small, there is simply no room for jobs in what I do for a straight life!), read this, read that, took some phonecalls from hysterical woman not earning any money as sex workers it's so quiet but there's no straight jobs around so they have no options. I took a call from a friend who informed me they were coming by after work to deliver some fruit they stole from the company they work for fruit bowl, because they are worried I'm starving blaaaah blaaaaah.

It suddenly occurred to me ... I'm a bloody victim!! hahahahahaaaa

All to hardcore yes? Sooooo I decided to make Google my friend and Googledooo'ed "happy". Did you know that in 0.03 seconds, Google gave me 58,200,000 images of Happy?! Soooo I thought for anyone else who is making the life and death decision to be brave enough to risk it ALL and go find happy (and I think a lady put it best to me today when she said "bloody hell Lucy, I'm living in Shitsville and I gotta get out") ..... I give you Google in 0.03 seconds .....

 Happy Boy - can you tell he's thinking about me? hahahaaa

Happy Mars! - did you know that on Mars there is actually a crater called "Happy Face Mars"?! I shit you not!! go have a look  http://www.msss.com/education/happy_face/happy_face.html

Happy Rock - did you know that in America, they have actually identified a HAPPY ROCK?! They even built a happy little Smartie to go on top so you wouldn't miss it!

Happy Bunny! - yup there sits the happiest bunny in the known Universe (looks a little creepier than even clowns do if you ask me. Bunnies shouldn't look happy! I bet he's cuddling up to that woman and thinking "hmmm yummy lunch"!)

Happy Thingy! - yup there sits a Happy Thingy by the side of the road!

Happy George - hahahaaa yup it's haaaaaaaaapy George hahahahaa! Just jokes George, don't hit me hehehee

Happy Elephant - aaaaw we love Happy Elephants

Haaaaapy Me - gimme gimme candy and I be HApPY HAPPY HaapPY

and the happiest of all .........

HAPPY INSANITY!!! Woohooooo!

Be happy people's and if anyone is having a drama finding it right now....

Love you long time

Mmwaah!

Lucy

:)

Ok Ok who has a theme song?

I am constantly asking people their theme song and all I get back in reply is a mixture of  the "aaaw look how cute she's being strange again" look, and when I push for it I get the "OMFG she's actually SERIOUS!" look. Well I've decided people's of the World need a theme song, so to encourage sillyness, strength, courage, wisdom, giggles and jumping up and down on the top of your bed all over the world, I shall go first.....

Here is my theme song at the moment (not including my staple diet of Christian Camp songs like Father Abraham Has Many Sons and I'm H.A.P.P.Y - but I figure they are more songs to live your life by, not necessarily theme songs)...

<p><a href="http://youtube.com/v/3VhYjKzFqFw&amp;feature=related">http://youtube.com/v/3VhYjKzFqFw&amp;feature=related</a></p>

Original URL: http://youtube.com/watch?v=3VhYjKzFqFw&feature=related

Mwwwaaaah! Live life, survive it and if you can .... ENJOY! ... if not, when it all gets to freakin' hard.... SHAKE YOUR TAIL FEATHER!

Lucy

:)

Was going to write some fluff because that’s what blogs are – MARKETING. I decided not to tonight though for some reason. I suppose I feel I’ve paid my dues so can get away with being a real person every now and then.  Hahaha of course I’m completely wrong.

Stigma and the resulting hatred is something we run into constantly as sex workers. I was reading the overseas blogs of working ladies and they are all very sad about the recent death of a DC Madame – she supposedly hung herself, but the girls doubt it. Either way they are all very cut up about the whole situation. One lady published all the names of the ladies who had died in her home State alone whilst being active sex workers. It was long.

It made me think on the times I have been stigmatized and isolated in the last week alone, because I'm a sex worker.

I went out with a friend last week who happens to be gorgeous. We were going to go speed dating, but get there and decided having a drink and a laugh was higher on the agenda then learning how to talk to normal people.

After a while a few of the boys came over and introduced themselves to us. Immediately they begin falling all over her, but for me I sell on personality not looks so much. I was stunned at how blatant these boys were with their drooling. They openly tell us that they aren’t after relationships, they only cruise bars looking to bonk woman (ooow that’s a great get into her pants line!). Sooo for the next little while I sit there rolling my eyes bored shitless while they tell me how sophisticated and cool they are because they are Merchant Bankers and some of them do Risk Analysis for one of the Major Banks in the City. One boy was completely taken with himself to the point he tells me his company paid $30 000 to relocate him from overseas, but he hates his company so wanted to quit. After a quick Lucy shut up, stop sooking and do something about it intervention, he asks me how I grew “mens balls to be able to talk to men like him” the way I do. I sat there and thought hmmm normal people… wow this is what I’ve been missing!

Then they start hammering us on what we do for a living. Lucy of course lies and reverts to the old life and tells them she is a Social Worker who works with people who use drugs illicitly and drug users. They then all begin telling me my life is depressing and I should be ashamed of myself for working with “grotty, diseased, monsters” and I had just put a downer on the evening. I assumed they were talking about drug user’s so I asked them why they thought that and they said they had nothing against drug user’s, they were talking about “filthy whores”. Oh.

So I asked them if they thought sex workers served any purpose in life and if they would ever book one. They said they’d only book one to do something “woman” wouldn’t do. Oh. I asked one of them what that was and he said he’d book two to eat each others arses while he sat on the other side of the room and jerked off, but he wouldn’t let one of them touch him because they are “diseased and filthy especially after eating each others arses”. Oh.

Anyhooo later on came a case of drink spiking and all the other joyful things woman can experience in life. Of course drink spiking is more likely to happen to sex workers because we look at each other and say “oh shit what if they spiked our drinks” and then  we both let each other know that’s just the hooker safety procedures in us and we should stop being so paranoid.

So was sitting in a job interview the next day staring at the walls (still off my dial from drink spiking the night before), thinking on this while the welfare organization I was interviewing with, were telling me they had issues with my personal boundaries because I had worked in a sex worker organization.

Later that do I had to go to the Doctor for a Doctor’s certificate because I missed going to Uni because I had to go to that job interview. The Doctor sat there and got extremely pissed off at me when I asked him if there was anyone there who specialized in sex workers. He told me we are just like any other woman s any Doctor was qualified to see sex workers. The very next breath he began telling me how in fact he had seen a sex worker that day and then told me how she had told him she had been raped but he didn’t believe her because “sex workers can’t be raped because they are having sex with people they know, they gave consent, and how if the guy used a condom it isn’t rape”. He then answered his mobile phone without asking me if it was ok.

I informed Mr Doctor that he was in fact a prick and this is why I wanted to know if they had someone who specializes in sex workers. He screamed at me and demanded I justify myself so I asked him if he didn’t dislike sex workers and thought of us as ‘normal woman’, would he have told a patient about another patients conversation? If any other woman walked in and said she had been raped but the guy had worn a condom and it started out as consensual, would he have called her a liar and told her she wasn’t raped? I asked him if he answers his mobile phone all the time while in a consult with anyone but a sex worker? He then threw me out.

I ran home to the City from Kings Cross and made it in 12 minutes because I felt so ugly, so hated, so furious, so sad.

It horrifies me to think that “normal people” and people in the so called “non-judgmental” caring professions would hate you and pass judgment purely because you have been associated with the sex industry. Sure 30 something year old men I suppose it’s to be expected, but people who are employed as Doctor’s and welfare workers! Bugger if it’s not revolting that I even just said “I suppose it’s to be expected”. Why should we expect woman to be stigmatized – marked- hated, purely because they have been sex workers?!

To put an ad in the local paper it costs me more than a plumber. Never has a private worker been granted a DA to operate as an independent. We are able to claim less on tax, we are charged a higher % on each transaction if we have merchant facilities, we are told we’re whores if we try and report a rape to the Police. Why on Earth is there no discrimination laws based on employment?

Sex workers are the most isolated and hated people on the planet. They are forced into isolation because we have to lie to our mothers, friends, partners, straight work, Doctor’s. Everyone and everything is a lie because it has to be

I have certain men on forums who hate my guts. Have never met me, never spoken to me, just read my blog, read what I write on forums and hate me. They ban other girls from forums if they know they are friends with me, start hate threads, hunt me across forums, make fake bookings and the super duper clever ones, make snide comments whenever they can on my home forum, but nothing to insulting so they can’t be banned. Life is a constant case of dodging the hatred either because you are a sex worker or because you don’t fit their image of what a sex worker should be. Thank GOD for other sex workers. Thank GOD in our isolation we are not always completely alone but God we feel completely alone.

3 hateful conversations in 48 hours – greeeeaaaat. So the moral to the story… there is none. It’s just life. I suppose all anyone can do is if they know someone is a sex worker, be lovely, be forgiving, because your sex worker may be having a life, you have no idea about.

Lucy

Hellooo People's

One of my other most hit on blogs was getting a photoshoot done and once again I did a sub standard job at writing it up, so I am deleting the old one and putting this new revised version up.

Once again, only fascinating reading if you're having a photoshoot done.

Photo Shoots for Websites

Why we have photo shoots:

Investment in business: I am of the school of thought that one must invest in business in order to do well. Investing means taking the time to do a photo shoot and can mean a serious cash layout if you get shots professionally done. Before you decide how much to spend on a photo shoot, do the math and work out how much you want to invest back into your business. Sometimes a few home made digital photo's can be a wiser idea than investing thousands into a professional shoot and it literally costs THOUSANDS.

Refresh the image: how best to describe this would probably be in terms of porn collections. Guys will have multiple DVDs or puter things with porn on it. Boys start out with one porn movie, thrash it to death and then after 3 - 6 months or so they purchase another porn movie. They continue to watch and love the old porn movie, but really really enjoy the new porn movie. In reality all porn is the same, but there is always a need to buy new porn to love. Pics are the same. You keep the old ones because guys will have their old favorites, but you need to get new ones to remind people how glorious you are when they are desensitized to your old porn pics.

Altar your image: I am doing my photoshoot this time to show the lovely, less scary side on myself. Yes I can be sweet (HA!). My photo's at the moment are very edgy or have a sharp edge to them which is just a little side of myself. I have decided I want lovelier, friendly kind of pictures. So I suppose you have different types of photos to give people a complete picture of who you are. It's all about balance. A girl dressed in latex is not going to get many offers for dinner bookings, so if you want to go for the market in dinner bookings, it means you must have appropriate feminine girlfriend type of images taken.

Promotion: we may get new pics taken if we want to promote a special service we are offering. I had a whole bunch of photos taken when I went thru a latex phase of my life and wanted to have kinkier, devious sex. All the pics taken were of me wearing latex. You may also find a new doubles partner and want to promote doubles so have some pictures taken together, or it may be Easter time and you want to have some pics taken in a Play Boy Bunny outfit to run an Easter Special.

Change markets: if we want to completely change who you see you may need to take new pics. So if you're going to have a price rise from $200 up to $800 an hour, you would probably need glamour professional photo's taken. Men at that end of the market demand a certain style of photo and it makes a dramatic impact announcing your arrival. To men paying $100 - $200 an hour they aren’t as fussed about someone paying $3000 upwards on photos.

To keep existing clients happy: men like it when a woman puts in a bit of effort. A photo shoot is like buying a new set of lingerie, dress or pair of stilettos to be bonked in by your partner. All men like it when their girlfriend goes out, buys something new and then bends over to be bonked in it. It's called 'making an effort'. I like that about men It's honest, it's appreciative and its sweet.

Deciding on a photographer

This is an issue! When I was trying to find someone to take photo's for me I called over 30 photographers until I found one who would work with someone from the sex industry. I have had photo shoots done with 4 different photographers now and all but 1 has ripped me off. When you get ripped off with pics it is a HUGE deal. Not only does it mean you can generally kiss at least $1k away, but it takes a huge amount of time to get ready for one and they are very tiring.

The style of photography you want must be taken into consideration. Some photographers take studio type shots as is in my current pictures, some photographers do more laid back photography, some do glamour and some will do Earthy shots. If you decide to have glamour shots taken, you need to be sure you can back it up when the front door opens. If you want to offer a more laid back service and not appear in a full face of makeup, manicured/pedicured with a $500 dress on, then glamour shots may not be the way to go for you. Many people will judge glamour shot ladies a little harsher and be on the look out for false advertising, so you need to be sure you can back it up. The look and feel of your photos will dictate the type of service you provide, the type of environment you will be entertaining in and how you will look when they front door is opened. Your style of photos should reflect the look and feel of yourself and your 'service'

I'd always only work with a photographer who has worked with people in the sex industry. They have a good working knowledge of the type of pics we need, the poses we will want and don't ask stupid questions. As always working with a professional who is an expert in your field is only ever going to help.

Finding a photographer 

The problems associated with this are HUGE. Not only do you have the issue of finding one who will work with you because you’re a sex worker but other problems we have are:

• copyright: finding a photographer who will assign you copyright/publishing approval so you can put them on the internet
• Ladies can be unhelpful: I have asked many ladies to give me the names of their photographers and they generally refuse. They don’t want to help the competition. Politics within the industry are quite foul as well. For example I am now unable to use my old photographer as other people who use his service have threatened him with legal action or refuse to use him again if he takes pics of me again - once again a competition issue. If you pick the right photographer however, this does not have to be a major issue. It's about finding a photographer who doesn't buy into politics and one who knows the legal and ethical issues involved with taking photographs
• Appropriate skill level: finding a photographer who can actually take a picture can be a drama. You'd be surprised how many photographers can’t take pictures. The time it takes to do a photo shoot can also be a drama. Some photographers take 12 hours to do a single shoot which is a nightmare. Photo shopping skills are also something you must take into consideration. Can a photographer shop your pics enough (aaah shock horror we shop our pics hahaa) to take away any identifying freckle so your mother doesn’t catch you and blur your face, without making you look like someone completely different?
• Turn around time: how quickly you need the pictures must be considered. A photographer who says they can have the pics ready for you in a month, if you need them in 2 weeks is not ok. If you need to tour to Qld in a month and need to submit your pics to the PLA for approval (takes weeks) so you can put them up, a quicker turn around time is vital.
• Do they have a hair and makeup artist on site or one who will travel with you? If not by the time you go to the hairdresser, get professional make up done and get to the photo shoot, chances are your hair has fallen out and makeup faded off. Finding a photographer who has a hair and makeup artist on site also means you are able to achieve different looks in one shoot which can be important.

Things to consider when taking pics

• What style of picture do you want? What’s the look and feel your after?
• who is your target market
• do you need to buy clothing and lingerie for shoot
• If doing a location shoot, where is the location? If you’re going to be working in a house at Dural it won’t be a good idea to take pics in a unit overlooking the Harbor. Guys will get annoyed because you’re selling the Harbor view as well as yourself in the pics. Can you get permission to use the location? If you don’t have permission to use a hotel room and you do - BIG TROUBLE! If you tell them you’re using the room for a commercial shoot (which you are), they will charge you the normal room rate then a commercial loading on top. Commercial loading can be anywhere from 3 - 6k. So if taking pics without permission do it during the day so the flash isn't seen going off and be very careful.
• What’s your concept/ theme? What exactly are you trying to promote?
• Do you have all the clothes and accessories you will need for a shoot? I always take at least 10 changes of clothes with me and end up using 2 or 3. You'll find different things work on the day and will suit certain locations and photographers. For example, my latex would not suit a suite in the Observatory Hotel as the hotel is decorated like your Great Great Grandmas bedroom was.
• Do you have the time and money? They take forever and cost a fortune for a professional shoot. There are lots of hidden costs like manicure/pedicure, clothing, lingerie, accessories, hair, makeup, taxis, renting location, room service, blaaaah blaaaaah. To give you an idea, tomorrow I will have to write entire day and night off. At 10am I will have a manicure/pedicure - $80, 12.15pm hair - $120, 2pm makeup - $95, 3pm taxi home to pick up suitcase - $15, 3.30pm leave for hotel in taxi - $25, 4pm get to hotel and pay for room - $600, shoot 4pm - whenever $1200, taxi home $25. Add on cost of room service. I’m lucky in that I don’t have to buy anything new beyond maybe one or two sets of lingerie probably at $600 a set and the photographer is giving me a brilliant rate. Total: around $3000. Shite I should never have added that up :(
• Do you want your face in the picture? In Australia it is a rare girl who puts her face in her pictures. Overseas in the UK and US, nearly every girl has full face shots, but it is just not the norm here. Guys here seem to value discretion for you and them selves. Think VERY carefully on this point before you show your face in a picture. It is a fundamental marketing decision that will impact many aspects of your business.

Alternatives to a professional shoot and what you need to think about when doing them

If you're just beginning out in the industry, taking some unprofessional pictures to begin with is a good idea. This way you can begin to understand how to take pictures, what assets you want to sell and get you to begin thinking about look/feel and theme you're going for.

Loads of guys prefer unprofessional pictures. They feel like they are not being marketed to or bullshitted to. They feel like what they see is what they will get and in this day and age with so many girls using fake/stolen pictures, this is a huge plus.

If you're having them done this way, it is a good idea to have the pictures taken by someone you trust and feel comfortable with. This will mean you will be more relaxed in front of the camera and will feel more comfortable being naked or in compromised poses while having the pictures taken. It's also a good idea to have them done with a fellow sex worker or someone you trust, because a lot of your pictures are going to be UGLY! There is nothing quite like a 3 dimensional body squished into a 2 dimensional picture. I can guarantee you in some pictures you're going to look fat and ugly and your cellulite will be in full view. This happens with a professional shoot as well but it's somehow different when taking them by yourself. SO have someone help you take them who you can laugh with and is ok with you're screams of terror lol. It is actually a funny thing to share with a friend.

Decide what you're going to sell and photograph it. If you have a fat pimply butt with warts on it that wobbles and HUGE boobs, take all of your pictures of your boobs. They are your asset; they are what you need to sell. There is no point in having your worst asset in a picture - it will just work against you. I had a friend who has now retired and she was a larger size girl, so all of her pictures were of her boobs. She sold boobs and she made an absolute bloody fortune! Men use to love taking her to dinner, sitting across the dinner table and glancing at her boobs every now and then. Just because you take pics of one asset, does not mean you're going to market yourself into particular corner.

Summary

Whether you have a professional or unprofessional shoot, there are pros and cons for both. If you don't have the money, then don't bother investing in a professional shoot. It is VERY expensive and time consuming, so unless you can guarantee those pictures will get you 10 times the work an amateur shoot you do yourself with a friend, then I would suggest you don't do it. I've had both done and guys like both.

It is a serious decision to make and who you get them to do it and how should be written into your marketing plan. Please see attachments below for examples of professional versus amateur taken by me shots

 Professionally taken - branding picture used for banner and website www.lucy-sydney-escort.com

 Professionally taken - latex promotion selling my arse as my greatest asset

Professionally taken - latex promotion selling my boobs

Unprofessional - taken to switch markets to GFE from fetish

Unprofessional - taken to keep boys interested, sells follow me home and fuck me boots, mistress/slut/bad girls fantasy

Unprofessional - taken to keep boys interested and show them photoshopping on my real pics is not outrageous ie. I'm not a size 22. Truth in advertising and all that bollocks

Hellooo People's!

One of my most read blogs is on condom use. I wrote the original thing on it over a year ago and it was completely LAME! I thought since people are reading it so much I should probably make it a little less pathetic so here it is. I've deleted the original one off my blog so this will now be the only version. I've been writing a bit for that bloody wiki, so there's updates and stuff on there re: condoms, lube, dental dams, condom breakages and other stuff if you happen to need your brain frozen in boredom for a minute or two.

I warn you this is not an exciting read. It is purely for people who are reading this blog for a bit of education. The actual page re: this stuff can be found at:

http://sensualdownunder.wik.is/Health/Safer_Sex_Supplies/Condoms

Anyhoooo here tis....

Types of condoms

condoms vary in size, shape, texture, color, what they are made out of, what kind of lube they have on them, if they have lube on them, packaging, size variants depending on country you buy them in, all manner of differences. So I suppose the best way to go about it is to take each of these things apart one at a time.

Size and Shape:

Once upon a time condoms came in 3 basic sizes in Australia - small, medium and large. Things have come a long way however, so now you can get condoms in many different shapes and sizes.

 You can tell the difference in the shape by looking at the side of the condom box where there's always a little picture showing you the shape of the condom.